Sister Maralisa of the Trinity, O.C.D.

I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home where both of my parents practiced their faith and raised their children to love, honor, and respect God and all of His commandments. Throughout my childhood, my relationship with our Lord was one of respect and awe for His mightiness and a desire to please Him by trying to follow His commandments. In high school, our Lord opened my eyes to another essential dimension of life in Him with the realization that He desires for us to have a personal relationship with Him, as well, and not to just view Him as a distant God present only in Heaven and waiting to meet us on our day of judgment (as I had viewed Him previously). From this point on, our Lord slowly and gradually became more and more of my confidant and revealed His Presence, and the Presence of the entire Blessed Trinity, within my soul.

During the first few weeks of college, I was quickly presented with the challenge of defending myself in the area of faith and morals. While beginning to attempt to defend my religious beliefs, I realized that the only real reason that I could give for why I believed firmly that the religious beliefs I held were worthy of living by was because they had been taught to me by those I respected and loved. This inability to defend my beliefs sent me into a deeper search for Truth and a desire to know why I believed (as much as our Lord would grace me with the capacity of knowing).

Upon finishing college, I began teaching in Texas. During the first year I lived in Texas, I continued to search for a church home. I was also very focused on the fact that I had not yet found a man to marry. My deepest desire at this point of my life was to find a man who would love me unconditionally, help me to grow closer to God, and to raise a family with me who would love, honor, and glorify God. Little did I know at this point how our Lord was about to gently and patiently mold my heart and my mind as He revealed the path that would bring this desire to fulfillment according to His plans.

Each church that I tried throughout the first year of living in Texas brought many new graces, but none of them settled within my soul as the church that our Lord’s fullness of Truth resided in. At the end of this year, I grew very discouraged at the lack of a sense of belonging and the lack of clarity in the path our Lord desired of me; I asked our Lord in a very open and blunt way to show me what His will was for my life. The very next day after this prayer, I decided to try a bible study at one of the churches I had been visiting to see if I was just not being proactive enough in trying to seek our Lord’s will. On the way to the bible study, I had a major accident in which my car was completely totaled… but I was left untouched. Passersby that saw the accident site were amazed that I was not seriously injured. I knew that our Lord was just trying to show me something that I was missing, and this was a way to open up my eyes and take away my blindness. On the following day, a friend at the school where I worked offered to pray with me to help me hear what our Lord was trying to reveal to me. Our Lord poured His grace out through this faithful friend! After she prayed with me, my friend asked if I had a way to school the following day since she knew that I no longer had a car. She also invited me to help her with a CCD class the next day and invited me to Mass the following Saturday evening. I told myself that I could try anything for a while, so I agreed. From this moment on, my dear friend welcomed me into her heart and her home. I could truly call her my sister in Christ. When we attended Mass, I knew interiorly (without being able to put the realization into words) that there was something unique about this church. When I finally bought a new car, and was able to attend other churches’ services, I still found myself going to Mass on Saturday night with my friend, and then trying another church on Sunday morning. At this point, I also read the book Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. Scott Hahn’s perseverance in searching for Truth, in spite of the life changing and challenging consequences that the possibility of converting to Catholicism presented him, deeply inspired me. I decided to enroll in RCIA classes at the parish I had been going to with my friend. Once I learned that the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ is truly present in the Most Blessed Sacrament, I knew He was the one drawing me into the Catholic Church.

During RCIA classes, we were presented with two weeks on the discussion of vocations (to marriage and to religious life/ priesthood). When I read the chapter on religious life, I felt our Lord interiorly ask me, “Would you consider this life?” Immediately, I shut the book and tried to ignore the question. Looking back on this event, I marvel at how His mercy and compassion is so far beyond my understanding; I never ceased to be amazed at how much He desires for me to come to Him as I am and be completely real with Him, even if I am whining or complaining. He works so faithfully with my weaknesses and helps me to see His tender love in all things, even if it takes a while for me to be transparent with Him and invite Him to break through my stubbornness of mind and of heart. Our Lord left the topic alone for a while and let me go on with life.

Throughout my life, our Lord guarded my heart like a diligent big brother. Even though I desired to be married and tried to pursue relationships, He closed the doors on many occasions. He also formed my heart to realize that I should only consider dating people whom I could respect and care about enough to consider marriage. The few relationships that I did have throughout the course of years in Texas were gifts from God and taught me much about myself and who God was calling me to be. I am very grateful to each of them for their friendship; our Lord even blessed me abundantly with the gift of remaining lifelong friends with the family of one of the young men I had the privilege of getting to know. His family has sustained me through the past ten years with their excellent example, their tender love, and their fervent prayers.

A few months after I became Catholic, my dear friend was completing her final trimester of pregnancy in carrying her son (who is my godson). In this time, I was blessed with the opportunity to spend six afternoons a week with both of them and her older daughter. Our Lord started revisiting my heart with the question of whether I would consider a religious vocation. This tore at my heart; I was growing more in love with the idea of having my own children with each passing day that I grew closer in relationship with my godson, even as he was in his mother’s womb. A few days after he was born, I went on a silent retreat to try to listen more closely to our Lord and to rest. At this point, a religious sister that I talked with on the retreat informed me that since I was a new convert, it would be two years before I could actually enter a community. I felt a sigh of relief and put discernment completely on the back burner for the next two years. During these years, I became involved in our parish life through CCD, work with the teens, bible studies, singing in the choir, and pro-life ministry. I also spent a lot of time with my godson and his family. Eventually, our Lord blessed me with two other close friends from our parish who later became roommates with me and are still blessing me with their faithful friendship to this day. I became so busy, however, with doing things in the parish that I did not leave time to develop a prayer life.

Eventually, the lack of solitude and time in prayer was extremely apparent; my soul longed for stillness and silence. Our Lord called me to more and more time with Him in front of the Blessed Sacrament. In these times, He opened my heart to ask again for His will to be apparent. Gradually, He gave me the courage to visit the Missionaries of Charity in Houston and to go on a discernment retreat given by the Serra Club in our diocese; it was here that I met two young men who were on fire for our Lord and were both very committed to following their vocation to the priesthood. Our Lord used their friendship to encourage me to follow our Lord’s path in answering the call to my own vocation over the following two years. While visiting the Sisters of Life, our Lord broke through my final reservation in following a religious vocation by revealing the beauty of the call to spiritual motherhood that He asks of some. As beautiful and holy as the vocation to marriage and the raising of a family is, and as much as I would find joy in that vocation if it was our Lord’s will for me, I knew that it was not the path that He was asking of me. He gently opened my heart to trust little by little that His calling is perfect and will bring me the fullest joy, if I would follow Him with a willing heart. Our Lord also provided me with a wonderful spiritual director who helped guide me to finding the particular charism within the vocation that our Lord had implanted in my heart from the moment of my Baptism at three weeks old. Throughout the year before I came as a candidate with the Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles, our Lord continued to draw me closer to Himself through the ability to attend daily Mass several days a week and spend a holy hour with Him in and adoration chapel a few days a week. His love and faithfulness is amazing!

May God reward you for your prayers and your love for our Lord. Be assured that you are in my prayers!

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